I end up thinking; I'm just a lucky girl that doesn't even deserve him

Post date and time ,
5/7/10 | 2:58 AM


Omg , I found my older post in my draft .

#%$^@%$ ! Hahaha .
And yes that's my old picture :D
Hihi :B

xoxo,
Natt .

Thanks Hzq (:

Ze Beloved Brotha♥

Me : Pink

Haziq : Blue .

2:14am
hzq
hmm

2:15am
?

2:15am
i think i cant lie to myself anymore
and im gonna tell you the truth

2:16am
what izit?

2:18am
you know what , I'm still deeply in love with _____ ): i shouldn't force myself to like _____ just to make myself forget about him
i feel so
idk
im such a failure
i fail every time
i fail to make myself happy
i fail of making ppl happy
)':
hzq help me , its killing me

2:19am
why not go contact him up?

2:19am
i wanted to contact him but hmm

2:20am
but what?
afraid?

2:20am
yeah kinda
n besides my numb kan problem
i send him a msg on fb
i hope he'll rep me

2:21am
that should be better than nothing
just wait for his reply kay?
chill tasha

2:21am
okyh, hzq im a mess kan ?
i ni teruk la

2:22am
neah
everything is okay
if you do really love him
go fight for him kay? :)
don't run away from your love

2:23am
awww hzq , thnks for the spirit
yeahh sure , i'll fight for it

2:24am
you're welcome =)
ara told me that
she ask me don't run away from your love
and you can't lie to your feeling
i terasa that time
and that's why i fight for her
even she has bf
but i still don't care
i'll go for her because i love her

2:25am
awww
hzq )':
i know how much it hurts k ?
we'll go thru it together k ?

2:25am
we will tasha :)
^^

2:26am
(: ily brothaaa ♥

2:26am
haha
ilytoo sistaa ♥

xoxo,
Natasha .

So sick and tired ,

Hey guys , I'm a bit down today ya know . Yeah if you guys take a look at my fb profile you guys will know why . I wanted to type it out here but I don't want to talk bout it anymore /: I got so many stories I wanted to tell you guys but I don't have the mood now . Hmm , and here i am again online so bored so lonely . I'm gonna cook maggi now, I'm so hungry . Maggie Asam Laksa FTW !

xoxo,
Natt .

Another Older Post I found in my blog's draft : 5/7/2010 | 2:57 am (:

I'm scared to be attached, I'm scared to make you my everything, I'm scared to let you know everything, I'm scared your gonna be the only one there, I'm scared to make you my only thing, I'm scared if you ever left me I lost my everything, What would be my reason to live if you were my everything.
Prove to me you'll be here forever and I WILL fall for you.

xoxo,
Natt .

Older Post I found in my blog's draft : 5/7/10 , 3:04 AM

I believe in angel something good in everything i see ,

After 16 years , please someone take me away from here , place me somewhere i could scream , sing , dance and have fun with my beloved friends . Far far away from problems , where i feel like i belong to be . Somewhere i can sing a song of happiness , being around of sweetness , dance down the streets with my boyfriend , sleepovers with my best friends . Running like there's no tomorrow . Like seriously scream like no one cares , do whatever i feel like doing . Have great family who understand the meaning of love , caring all the sweet lil things . Have friends who doesn't back stab each other . I'm glad that I've found my angels, my very best friends that i really love but please get me out of this place that's crushing me . Get me out from this darkness , i'm scared . From all this whine that hurts my ears, all this scary moments away from my sight , this is too much already . I have my own dream . Bring me there , where i believe in angel and something good in everything i see...

xoxo,
Natt .

Helmi ! Look what I found in my blog's draft . Aww, Imy Elmo (:

Helmi Anuar ,
Elmo (:

Post date and time ,

5/7/10 | 2:54 AM

Girl , where exactly are you ,

I'm sitting here all alone thinking of you ,
tell me what i have to do to have you ,
and also all the things that I'm not supposed to do
that would make you upset .
I love the color of your eyes ,
that is always making me smile ,
do open your heart and eyes ,
to the guy that is willing to walk a thousand mile .
the first time i saw you ,
i knew that i couldn't have you ,
but the chemistry i had with you ,
gave me reasons why I'm obsessed with you .

Aww here's a flying kiss from me to you (:

Thnk you elmo, i really love it , you're the first guy who wrote me stuff like this,I'm sorry but i have to let you go . I know you're strong enough to forget me , go now go . You're free now , find a girl who will understand you ,who will always make you smile and who will always love you for who you are . You're the nicest guy i have ever met , but i am not the one who deserve you . There's other girl besides me who deserve your love more , I'm sure you'll find that lucky girl someday...

So live your life to the fullest , take care
& thnks for everything elmo (:

xoxo ,
Natt .

That's what you said ,

Hey, hey guys ! I've made my new ic already, oh yea - oh yea - oh yea . I feel so happy can die k ? hahaha . Sooo , thr this one stupid guy who added me on fb yesterday we got like pretty much mutual friends so i approved him and so obviously i wall post him 'thank for the add (: ' and expected him to respon but you know what he did ? he deleted it ! yes he deleted my wall post as if im the one who added him . I was like whoaa did he just ?! just ?! ughh ! don't you guys just get so fucken annoyed by this kind of ppl ? yeah he think he so cool , so i act cooler and remove him from my friends list . End of story . Pfft if you add ppl just to act cool or something , stop it man . It is not cool at all ! ughh it's disgusting okyh ! Anyway i cut my fringe already and i think... i look better (: somehow i feel like I've found the real me . I cut it by myself btw hihihi I'm so satisfied (Y) (Y) I knoww i knoww you wanna see my new hair , i'll upload it soon k baby ♥

xoxo,
Natt .

Hola Dora Es Stupidos ! Sorry Dora de explora ! I hate your stupid show !

Go die you little annoying biatch along with your stupid monkey Boots and your cousin Diego , swiper no swiping ohhh mann ! those stupid lil snail band and and your stupid back pack , back pack ! and your stupid I'm A Map, I'm A Map, I'm A Map, I'm a Map I'm a MAP! bla bla blaa He's the Mapp !!!!


Dora : what was your favorite part ?
Kids : *silent*
Dora : i like that too !

i like that part too ! kepale hotak kau bodoh ! XO

(Que steel drums and castanets)

"Doo doo doo doo doo Dora! Doo doo doo doo doo Dora! Dora, Dora, Dora the Explor-uhhhhh! something, something, something, Extraordinorahhhhhh! Grab your backpack! Let's Go! Jump in! VAMANOS! You can lead the waaaaayy! Doo doo, Dora! Doo doo Dora! Swiper, no Swiping! Swiper, no Swiping! (oh, maaaaaaaan!) Dora theeee Explor-uhhh!"

Open and read those 2 link please !

http://www.momaroo.com/710670943/why-i-hate-dora/

http://hubpages.com/hub/Why-I-Want-to-Kill-Dora-and-Other-Musings-on-Kids-TV

This is for you Puteri Puad ,

Babe , what you wrote on your blog , really touches my heart .

http://pelangicinta-puteripuad.blogspot.com/2010/09/im-nothing-im-just-human-being.html

Putri Nur Natasha , i bukan fairy . i tak boleh nak buat you happy . i tak boleh bagi you bahagia. i tak boleh nak hilangkan airmata you. i tak boleh guna magic wand utk lenyapkan semua masalah you. i tak boleh.

Natt, kalau i fairy . i akan make all your wishes come true. believe me i would . i swear to god. i akan pastikan you ada banyak baju cantik cantik. i pastikan you makan sedap sedap , duduk dalam rumah yang cantik sayang. i akan hapuskan airmata you sampai takda air mata boleh mengalir lagi.i bg you a guy yang takkan pernah buat you moody apatah lagi menangis pun.i buat you jadi CINDERELLA , percaya lah natt . i will.

TAPI


kalau i fairy , i tak nyata natt . i wujud dalam fantasi you je . bila ada org hurt you , i tak boleh pukul org tu , sebab i fantasi natt.i tak boleh peluk you bila i rindu sangat kat u. i tak nak macam tu . Natt: Jangan nangis lagi sayang. nanti mesti semua ni akan over . trust me. i sayang you. Shaz , Natt and Sayang , maafkan i sebab i ni manusia macam korang jugak . maaf sampai menulis lagi xoxo fafa


Aww , thats the sweetest thing ever okyh , after a lots of things we've been thru . Thnks fa , you've been really nice and make the effort of making me happy . Look babe , nobody's perfect right ? itsokyh , I'm happy enough knowing you're always thr for me , because i'll standby you no matter what too. You're one of the reason , i still go on with my life like how I'm supposed to . You give me strength , you've been listening to my problems and have been giving me lots of advices . Maybe sometimes i don't listen to you , but i really do appreciate the advices you gave to me . So again you don't have to be a fairy to make all my wishes come true, giving me those nice clothes , nice foods , vanish my tears , giving me the guy that will make happy and making me become like CINDERELLA . I really can't believe you know all my wishes , i would really love to become like Cinderella . I love Cinderella ! but like you said if you were a fairy , you'll be only living in my fantasies , when thr's a person that makes me hurt you cant defense me , you cant hug me when you miss me . I don't want that too . And that's the reason , you don't have to be a fairy just to make me happy . Be my loyal friend .

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad .

Shared joy is a double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow okyh ? ♥

Lots of love ,
Natt .

I just need a haircut and braces my dear parents ,

I want my hair to look like her's !


This is how my hair's supposed to look like , if my grandma didn't cut my hair when i was 4 .
Its kindaaaa , ugly ? right ?
or
it is ugly !

Anyway ,

check out Rihanna and Katy Perry's Hair ♥♥
I FREAKING LOVE THEIR HAIR!!! :'D

xoxo,
Natt .

And it seems like yesterday it was just a dream ,

So hello guys , i have two great news for today .

1. Daiman hazaim had deleted his fb , i don't know why the heck did he deleted it and being emo with me all of the sudden and decided that he doesn't want to contact me anymore, pfft FYI idgaF . Anyway ,
2. Last night someone came to hse , idk whats the main reason that person came to hse . Well, today i realized that person deleted me from fb . And again idgaF . Hihi .

I like the way how you guys actually appreciate me(: well , congratulation .

Hahaha, guess what ? before my mum had her divorced , me and brothers always does this at home when we get extremely boring ! Haha such a good memories♥

xoxo,
Natt

Open House !

It was great and tiring . My dear friends , sorry i didn't invite you guys it was a family open house . Btw , Zamil Syaheer thanks for coming ! Upload the pictures please HAHA .

xoxo,
Natt .

Talking bout New Era Caps ♥ I've always adore it .

omg nak ? omg omg nak ? nak nak omg D:

xoxo,
Natt .

NattKills Updated ,

Hey guys , I've update my Tumblr, Twitter and Formspring already :D Yay !

Do follow me okyh ?

http://twitter.com/NattKills

http://nattkills.tumblr.com/

http://www.formspring.me/Nattkills

BB babi , maxis pun mcm babi (Y)

YAY MAXIS , YAY ! FOR CUTTING DOWN MY FREAKING CREDIT . F you !

And f you bb , knp skrg kau nk buat hal ? whyyyyy ? i need to use the freaking internet D: even wifi pun tkbole pehal ?!

damn , pissed off k . Wi fi tkleh BIS tkleh . Tktau asl . Sho shad can freaking die .

xoxo,
Natt .

Thanks zam , i miss you and hzq so badly .

Zamil Syaheer Come on, life is hard when you stuck at something and you don't take action on it. Because when you were at that point, you either do it or regret, or else something else either worse or good might be coming up. I know you still love it, bu...t the words I tell you is good enough for him to answer, just speak in a proper tone instead of an angry tone. Ask nicely. Or else sampai bila you nak macam ni?

Crying and stuff won't do any solution, because the only thing you get is pain and tearful joys coming out from your eyes and heart. It's painful, I know, I've been in that situation and I was totally feel F-up to it. But why I still do it? Because I don't want to be in that situation in nowhere future, don't want to waste my time, don't want to be hurt anymore, don't want to cry anymore and don't want to get a silent treatment from somebody you was hoping to love you back.

Truth hurts, but at least, when you know something, you'll feel a little relieved, and from that moment, you can decide which action you should take. It might be more hurtful but life doesn't stop here.

Let me tell you something, Allah only lends you the feeling for a moment He wants, and he can pull the feeling back whenever He wants. I strongly believe this is just another test from Him for you, to see whether you are a tough girl in taking his test and whether can you handle the situation.

Everything has a solution, no matter what ways they are. The chance are given, the doors are open, its just YOU who decide whether to take or to not take action about the situation. Because everyday we have problems to deal on, no matter you realized it or not, we go through it. There's a level of problems though, if its easy you won't feel it that much, if its hard like this, yeah this is hurtful.

So just try hard on it okay. I know, it's hard, but for your own good, at least try. Take care okay.

Dear hair ,

Please grow longer faster !

Latest ;

Hmm no diff right ? I'm still wearing those fake smiles and sad eyes .

Natasha is currently ,

Haven't go to school more than two weeks

Haven't make her new identity card

Haven't change her school yet

Haven't fully practice math at home

Haven't decide what's she's gonna do next ..

Now , you don't have to ask her every single day why she didn't go to school , why she love sneaking out every night , rather spend her night with her bf or friends than being at home , take the risk not having her identity card with her . Just be there , be there . For her through thick and thin .